Famous Critics's Blog

Can you tell me how to get to… November 10, 2009

A huge happy 40th anniversary to one of the greatest creations of American society. No, not duct tape. Sesame Street! Many of you know that I’m a huge fan; there’s a poster of Kermit on my living room wall, a copy of “Sesame Street Unpaved” on my coffee table, my dog was very nearly named Henson, and my e-mail signature at work features a quote from Big Bird.

I don’t normally support using the TV as a babysitter. If you’re letting your kids watch Teletubbies and all the other garbage that passes for children’s televistion, instead of actually parenting, then you should have your parenting license revoked. But you should suffer the same punishment if you’re NOT making your kids watch Sesame Street every day. Jim Henson had a simple guiding principle: entertainment should be educational, and education should be entertaining. It’s a brilliant idea that all teachers should learn from.

I also give kudos to the Childrens Television Workshop crew for constantly analyzing themselves and changing the show to keep up with the times. There were huge debates at CTW about whether Snuffalupagus never being seen by adults was giving kids the idea that adults wouldn’t believe them. (And now, Snuffy has been seen by a grown-up.) Cookie Monster still eats cookies, but in moderation, and also eats veggies now too. My sister and I had heated discussions when CTW announced that they were going to create a new character who would suffer from some sort of disease. She wanted it to be HIV; I thought that obesity was a bigger problem for American kids. And CTW, geniuses that they are, created different characters for different countries, thus making the disease relevant for each audience. (Can any Brazilians tell me how to get to Vila Sesamo? Any Russians know the way to Sesamplatz?)

So here’s to the greatest street in the world. I still consider Oscar the Grouch to be one of my role models. And I still miss Mister Hooper.

Let the criticizing begin! November 9, 2009

This was all Lizanne’s idea. She said to me one day, “We should become famous critics.” The rest will someday be history, probably after the rest of the world has realized that we’re right about things more often than not. So take our advice. (No, that wasn’t the preamble to something pithy. Just take our advice. Because chances are, we’re right.)

And if anything in here upsets, irritates, or angers you, well, just remember that it’s Lizanne’s fault. She’s the cute, lovable one… who wears boots that she’s not afraid to plant on your backside.

It’s all happening at the zoo November 9, 2009

It’s not a secret that I’m a firm supporter of a little mayhem. Love a good natural disaster. Think that reintroducing mountain lions to the East Coast would keep the joggers and small yappy dogs on their toes. That sort of thing. So it should come as no surprise that I’m all aflutter over what happened at the National Zoo in Washington DC over the weekend.

A deer — and Rock Creek Park in DC has loads of them — hopped a fence, and surprise!, there were lions on the other side. The lions mauled it a bit (no doubt they were equally surprised), then the deer escaped into a moat. Zookeepers “rescued” it, and then euthanized it. You can plainly hear onlookers cheering for the deer to escape. And I say, bollocks!

First, you know that some of those people have to be NASCAR fans, and that they love a good wreck at 200mph. So then why not root for the lion? Is carnage only acceptable when it comes with a crash helmet, and everyone walks away uninjured?

Second, why shouldn’t the lions get some good high-quality enrichment, in the form of live prey to kill and eat? Why shouldn’t we allow the lions to be lions? If you’re an animal lover, you can’t just root for the cutesy wide-eyed Bambi-type critters. You’ve got to give equal time to the predators, red in tooth and claw, who should be allowed to pick off some prey species from time to time. If we want to teach people about nature — and that’s what zoos are for — then we should teach them about all of nature, not just the G-rated Disneyfied parts.

Finally, urban deer are hooved rats, wildly overpopulated, feeding on gardens, and often just two steps away from crashing through your windshield. I worked on urban deer management early in my career, and I think that rounding up a few of them and giving them to the lions, tiges, cheetahs, jaguars, and pumas wouldn’t be a bad thing. Cruelty to animals? Isn’t it cruel not to let predators behave naturally? Deer are a prey species (you can tell by their eyes, which are set on opposite sides of their head, the better to see trouble coming. Predators have eyes on the front of their heads, to give them binocular vision, useful for hunting.), and being eaten comes naturally to them. They may not like it, but it happens.

Or, we could just give the lions some small yappy dogs to play with.

Why you want your children to grow up to be hockey players November 9, 2009

Several professional athletes have famously said that they’re not role models and shouldn’t be treated as such. Others — and I’m looking at you, NFL wide receivers — have just continually acted like spoiled brats who need a good spanking.

But then there are hockey players. Yes, some will say that hockey is too violent, but I think you’ll find that hockey is really considerably less violent than football, has less bench-clearing brawls than baseball, and has far less players involved in nightclub shootings and wife beatings than basketball. Which brings us to today’s Hockey Hall of Fame inductees. One in particular… The Captain.

Steve Yzerman played his entire 20+ year career with the Detroit Red Wings, and remains with the team as an executive. In an era when players, hopscotch from team to team, following bigger and bigger paydays, Stevie Y’s loyalty to his team was admirable. He was made team captain at age 21, and spent the next two decades in that position. That’s why in Detroit, if you refer to The Captain, everyone knows who you’re talking about. The Captain didn’t fight. He didn’t question his coach in the media. He didn’t cheapshot his opponents, on the ice or in the press. He didn’t complain that he wasn’t getting his respect from management. He didn’t do drugs. And although he was one of the NHL’s best offensive players, he willingly sacrificed individual glory and statistics in order to improve the team. It worked; the Wings won 4 Stanley Cups behind his leadership. In 2002 Steve suffered a horrific knee injury, that required an experimental surgery. A bone in his leg was cut open lengthwise, a steel wedge was inserted, and Steve was told he’d be lucky to walk again. Forget hockey, just walking would be the goal. Within a year, Steve led the Canadian hockey team to Olympic gold. Think about that, Terrell “Turf Toe” Owens.

Today The Captain, #19, Stevie Yzerman, joins the Hall of Fame. Looking back on his lifetime of quiet leadership, dogged perserverance, pursuit of excellence, and commitment to teamwork, why would you NOT want your child to emulate him?